ClickHole I am a headline contributor for ClickHole. Here’s some of my stuff: Headlines Incredibly Gifted: This 8th Grader Is So Horny His Teachers Let Him Take Sex Ed At The High School Level ‘Out, Out, Brief Candle!’: This Little Boy Whose Pet Gecko Passed Away Is Wailing About Losing His Only Heir Clearing Things Up: Paul Simon Has Revealed The Crime He Sings About In ‘Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard’ Is Huffing Nitrous In A Two-Person Superman Costume Deeply Troubling: Hackers Just Leaked Subway’s Training Videos Online, Giving Foreign Adversaries Everything They Need To Construct Italian BMTs Of Their Own No Longer Science Fiction: Researchers Have Discovered A Kind Of Tart That Can Go In The Toaster It’s Scary How They Know This Much About You: Facebook Just Sent A Notification To Wish You A Happy Birthday Devastating: Barack Obama Just Visited The White House To Relive His Glory Days But No One There Even Remembers Him Anymore Ending World Hunger: A New UN Initiative Aims To Teach Starving People That You Can Get All The Food You Want From A Vending Machine If You Have A Quarter On A String Get Down On Your Knees And Show Them The Respect They’ve Earned: Here Are 8 People Who Are Older Than You Body Positivity Win! This Old Hag Who Lives In The Forest Is Telling Lost, Overweight Children That They Look Delicious Sorry But You’re Not Getting That Granite Tombstone: 5 Ridiculous Demands Grandma Made When She Was Being A Total Funeral-zilla About Planning Her Memorial Service They Said What?! Social Media Shareables