I was a freelance contributor to Funny Or Die. I sold jokes to FOD which appeared in online articles (mainly listicles) and on their social media channels.
- 13 Other Things Donald Trump Could Use Russia's Help With
- This one’s for Mr. Gorbachev: help me put up this wall. Gorbachev knows walls. His last wall was gorgeous and lasted a very, very long time.
- I want my Trump University students to study abroad there, thanks. The ones who complain I want them to study in Siberia or wherever, you know, that cold part you got over there.
- 10 Ways To Meet Your Favorite Celebrity
- Put a fresh baked pie on a windowsill and wait for Scorsese to show up
- 16 Things You Can Legally Do On An Airplane
- Flip off passing airplanes
- 10 Not Yet Announced Features Of The Nintendo Switch
- Port for you to blow into when it's not working
- 10 Excellent Ways To Get Your Brain Functioning In The Morning
- Unplug it and plug it back in
- Half-finish a crossword puzzle
- 12 Sure-Fire Ways To Keep Your New Year's Resolutions
- Just to be safe, end every resolution with "or maybe not"
- Last Night's Golden Globe Awards' Most Outrageous Moments
- #GoldenGlobesSoGolden somehow trended
- 12 Signs Russia Is Exercising Influence On America
- Instead of red, white and blue, the American flag is now red, red and red
- 13 Alarming Crimes That Will Exist In The Future
- Asking someone a question you could just figure out on your own
- 9 Lines That Might Get You Hired But Will Definitely Get You Laid
- I'm willing to bend over backward to get everything done
- 12 Funny Church Signs From This Week (1/30/2017)
- God's way, not Conway
- What Your Dog Is Thinking When He Sees You Naked
- "I am a dog"
- Mike Pence Facts: Can You Believe It? (social content)
- A Boston Market in Indiana named him their #1 customer in 2004
- Science Facts (social content)
- 10 Gritty Nintendo Games We Need To See As Movies
- Nintendog Fighting
- 11 Game Of Thrones Plotlines You Forgot About
- Bran gets denied healthcare
- When Sansa said yes to two boys asking her to prom
- 11 Ways To Know This Is Real Life And Not A Dream
- Guac is extra
- 12 Things That Will Make A Bartender Angry
- Prohibition
- 13 Things You Do That Remind You That You're Just An Animal
- When I open my mouth to yawn a bunch of birds fly in and clean my teeth
- 11 Totally F'd Up Things Your Cat Dreams About
- Pooping on an endless beach
- 12 Weird Things For Rappers To Brag About
- George Takei retweeted them
- The Mindblowing-est Twists In The New Season Of Black Mirror
- Arkangel: Jenny McCarthy was right about vaccinations all along
- The Benefits Of Having A Flat Earth (social content)
- No globe, no global warming
- Easier to draw
- Most Forgotten Lines From 'The Star Spangled Banner'
- When I say "United" you say "States!"
- 7 Legitimate Reasons To Get Ghosted
- They got super busy all of a sudden but mostly hated spending time with you but come on you get it you weren't really trying anyway
- Botnik Presents: The Best Rom Coms On Netflix
- Kate And Julia And Maude And Leopold: four strangers in Queens love Doctor Who, but it’s a singer without fame who makes love with all of them.
- Babysitter Poster (image)